reasons why i should not love joe

1) Whenever I get pizza, there are leftovers. I want to eat them the next day to save money, but when I look over, he's already helped himself.
2) He shows no remorse for the above. Even when I am blatantly upset about it.
3) Actually, he does not care when I am upset in general as long as he feels he is right.
4) He uses my car without asking.
5) He smokes in my car despite me having told him not to.
6) If I call him out on something he does, I am the bad guy.
7) He pawned off my TV and did not tell me for weeks.
8) He is justified in driving my car whenever he wants to because he occasionally puts gas in it.
9) He has admitted to stringing me along.
10) He probably does not love me.
11) He does not want to cuddle or be too close to each other unless HE wants it at that time.
12) He cannot hold a job.
13) He discusses his exes and how he feels about them more often than I would ever like.
14) He strongly believes suicide is only committed by cowards.
15) If I were to commit suicide, he would not feel sad, but that I were stupid.
16) He sits on the computer all day.
17) He lets his gaming affect his mood and ruin his entire day.
18) He spent $20 putting gas in my car with my debit card without asking after emptying its tank.
19) He justified the above by saying he checked the balance on my card.
20) He cannot stand my mother and trash talks her on a near daily basis.
21) He asked a girl on FaceBook, whose child he may have fathered, for pictures of her breasts back when he was living in my dorm/apartment and clearly seeing me.
22) He told said girl that he was living with one of his 'guy' friends in 'his' dorm.
23) He is a habitual liar.
24) I never trust him with anything.
25) He frequently hit Peanut.
26) After Peanut scratched him deep once, he grabbed him by the collar and slammed him into the wall several times.
27) He now hates cats because Peanut scratched him so often.
28) He is a smoker.
29) He does not want to have a relationship with me for his own bizarre reasonings.
30) He gets pissy when I ask for small favors.

i am surrenduring

".... to gravity and the unknown.

catch me,

heal me,

lift me up to the sun,

I choose to live"

- A Perfect Circle

     I feel really good right now. And by really good, I mean I actually feel like being an active member of society, accomplishing things, talking to people, and not just lying in bed all day until it is night so I have a proper excuse to sleep.
          Which is bizarre because I have absolutely no reason to be considering my situation is gradually getting worse, the man I love claims to have fallen out of love with me a few months back, and I am looking at having to go back home any day now.
     It is most likely my medication. No idea which one. And considering medication seems to have a terrible half-life when it comes to me, it is due to pass any minute. Not trying to be cynical here - I am in a good mood, after all - but it is the truth. So I am going to take advantage of this moment while I can.