short day

     I sincerely believe that one of the best feelings in the world is when you fall asleep with someone and when you wake up they are still there. I fell asleep cuddling Peanut last night and when I awoke he was next to me sleeping like a baby. He can manage to jump off my bed, but he is much too small to jump back up onto it, so he must have been there with me the entire night. I could not tell you why this makes me feel so nice inside. It just does.

     Unfortunately, I had another dream about him last night which essentially ruined my day. It is ironic because I have reached the point where I rarely think of him unless there is a trigger (which I admit there still are many and I could be much better), but then my dreams come and sucker punch me in the face by giving me these little fantasies just to make me feel awful in the morning when I realize, oh, hey, we're not back together again, that was just a dream, I am still not with him and I am hurting a lot - no thanks to you, brain. My subconsciousness must just be a colossal asshole.

     So I spent my morning (starting at the crack of two in the afternoon) watching an episode of Big Brother with my family, watched silly cartoons while crafting a friendship bracelet design to wrap around my charging cable for an hour, then heading back off to bed... until about seven in the evening when my folks had prepared dinner in which I ate two pieces of garlic bread, just to zombie-walk right back to my safe haven and wake up at eleven.

     I think part of the reason I went back to bed the first time is because my mother's husband of a year came home and I was too ashamed to show my unkempt self around him. But then he saw me at dinner anyways, so not much help did that do.

     Lookie, it's Peanut.~ He loves my blankets.